I tweeted this once and I just felt like this is so appropriate with all of the things I have been learning and the people I am exposed to.
No one ever asks to get sick, much less get infected by an illness that puts a shorter number of days to your life and a count to your death. We all ignore the subject of death and deny it’s existence because well, it’s just not a good thought, no fun. However, when it comes to a diagnosis of a disease, the realization shines brighter than ever and our progression becomes disturbed and our physical daily life gets hindered and it becomes a constant reminder of the end.
I can’t even imagine what it’ll be like but I try all the time and I always feel so guilty for being healthy and able-bodied. The guilty feeling cuts even deeper when I treat my body and self terribly and make excuses for not being healthier. Sometimes I wonder if by treating people with an illness makes them angry, like it’s pity that is being given, not genuine kindness. I can tell the difference because I’m the one exuding the kindness, but the reaction I get makes me take a step back and think where it is really coming from. I discovered in myself that I do act a bit kinder to people with an illness. Not because I pity them, but because I respect them. I respect them for persevering and to work hard in order to get better, their ability to fight, their willingness to do whatever it takes to function better, and the optimism they have to live on.
We often take for granted our basic functional abilities, sometimes even abuse it by doing harmful and risky things. When we lose it, we realize how important and forget how easy it was to perform that action. I have mixed feelings about research and clinical trials for all these diseases. In a sense, we are helping them by moving forward and understanding. On the other hand, they are test subjects and we treat them so differently, no longer one of us. Diseases are harmful, yes. But people are just as harmful with their treatment to others by discriminating and judging.