I’ve been meaning to blog, really, but I always let my laziness or some ridiculous force or excuse drift me away from writing a complete post and publishing it. I have so many unfinished and partially started posts that I have written stuck in my drafts and much more stuck in the drafts of my brain. It’s hard to continue them because the moment and purpose of writing them seem to have vanished with the time that has passed.
Anyhow, after many failed not-really-trying-attempt attempts, here goes one that attempts to make up for the long hiatus (I just learned this word and it’s so fun to use), here goes a blog that captures a fraction of the thoughts I’ve been having, as well as a wonderful summary and recap of my vacation/mission/travel experiences.
Firstly, this has been racking my brain recently and it definitely is not the first time. This is a never-ending topic that has inspired many words of strength and exuded many feelings of failures and disappointments. Comparison. The thief of joy, as said by Theodore Roosevelt. There is much truth in this because those who compare are always the losers and being or feeling like a loser is an icky and awful feeling. The reason they lose is because they’re playing a game that has only one player. Why do this to yourself and why evoke a feeling that you don’t like and only you can feel? It’s probably because we’re humans, we’re social creatures, and we live in a society that allows such a thief to strive without any repercussions. But my intent is not to blame anyone or anything. There is no blame because there is no fault. We can easily stop it as we easily begin it, because we are in charge and control of what we think and what we choose to let into our minds and keep in our minds. I’ve been finding myself suck into playing this game a lot after scrolling through my newsfeed and getting a peek at the success and happiness that the people I know are attaining. At the end of it, feelings of not good enough and just simply aimless in my future never cease to follow. I started thinking of the good things I have. The so-called simple things – my legs, my vision, my cleanliness, my health, my shelter, my ability to speak, even luckier ability to speak English, my working mind, …and the list goes on. Playing the comparison game, I always lose and feel terrible because I focus on the stuff I don’t have and worry about not being able to attain it. What I really learned from this is to focus my attention on the things I already have, what I’m super lucky to be exposed to, and all the feelings I am able to feel – the good and the bad. What I’ve been saying a lot lately is that we really have to experience the bad to know the good. Clearly, the bad is not wanted but is necessary. I guess it’s ironic too because the bad is necessary for comparison. Well with that said, I leave this topic up for debate and shall revisit another time.
Well, moving on to what I’ve been edging to talk about. I always find an excuse to bring up my travel stories with people because it’s just so amazing and wonderfully unforgettable. I have a feeling a few of the next posts (if I get over my laziness to post) will be about my travels and just what I’ve seen and experienced because this post will be a brief overview of the three countries I’ve come to love and yearn to learn more about and live in.
Last I left off, I talked about Vietnam and the beginning of my trip. I was able to revisit the beautiful city of Saigon and the lovely home of my relatives and am glad I stayed those extra days to really just live. But that story is one to dive into later. The transition from Hanoi to Bangkok was so great that it made it feel like this world is so split and unfair. I felt my transitions to each country really enabled me to see a difference. Unlike the time I was in Europe, I really was mindful that I was in a different city and country each time I left a place and arrive in the next. Vietnam is a cultural experience with a touch of heritage and identity. Thailand as a whole is a luxury, a real vacation paradise. Cambodia is a learning of political and real-world affairs and misfortunes. I was lucky to have gone at the time I did, with the people that joined me, and at the place I was able to be present with.