Not sure why I go out because I’m starting to realize, I never really enjoy it. I guess it’s just because I have nothing better to do or I’m trying to live and have the experiences in my 20s that I’m supposed to be having, but when I’m in those situations, I really don’t want to take part in it. I just rather be home and spend time with my computer and watch shows so I can live in another world and take part in the comfort of my own freedom without any social barriers to meet.
I find it a bit funny with a bit of disappointment that so many people only have the courage to do certain things when under the influence and because of that, they purposely consume more and even push it on to others in order for them to later “blame it on the alcohol” for their actions. I’m just wondering if this is how relationships starts nowadays, or even before because social drinking is not a new thing. In some ways, I find it is probably the easiest, you don’t really have to deal with the awkwardness and all the other stuff, but I also find it sad if this is how it happens because people lose out on the organic and struggling parts of how things develop which I feel would be the most special parts. But what do I know since I haven’t tried either.
My friends surprise me a bit every time they share a story about these things. I always thought they shared similar values as me, stricter ones even and that they would be more conserved. But I’m realizing more and more, that I’m the most conserved and careful one. It’s not a bad thing but sometimes I kind of wish I wasn’t thinking so much all the time. I just can’t help it but I guess the hopeless romantic in me is so strong and always holding out for the possibilities of a unique romance story. I just don’t want to give in.