So for the first time ever, I met a stranger at a bar and gave him my number. I’m not your bar type girl, nor do I ever get that drunk, but I just had a bit too much and too fast and it led to quite an experience, one that I cannot fully recall but nevertheless entertaining with enough of it to remember and to laugh about. I never really thought these things would actually happen, I mean sure I see it on TV, hear people talk about it, and even sometimes see it happen to people, but I never thought it would be me performing such casual and normal acts of a single or even dating life.
But anyhow, I’m really glad with this first encounter I met someone who didn’t take advantage of the vulnerable state I put myself in. I was acting so strange and not myself and it’s quite crazy to think I could be such a different person without even being able to control it. Anyway, he is a seemingly nice and kind guy, charming and definitely good-looking with height and buff-ness that I admittedly find excruciatingly appealing. Wish I could have developed a more solid of idea of who is though but the only encounters we have after that first blurry conversation and discolored vision meeting are ambiguous and undecipherable texts, it’s not as easy to read someone as it is their texts. On to my point, we became strangers just as quickly and unexpectedly as we met. Even though it was for a very brief time, it was nice to feel wanted. I’m glad I got to experience this type of interaction. Although, an unexpected leaving and being ignored does leave some bitterness that will dissipate slower than a clean break.
But it got me thinking, is this normal? Is this what happens all the time to people? All these people come in and out of your life abruptly leaving traces of wonder and hopeful and then hopeless anticipation? It seems to be so, not just in the field of love and dating, but friendships and social connections in general as well. I just realized there are so many people I’ve met in my life, but I really don’t know who they are and never really bothered to care about who they are. The people who made it easy, who just happened to be there, or who are seemingly interesting and appealing, or admittedly so, those who seem to be able to provide some benefit, they’re the ones we seem to sustain a connection with. So I guess the one you find one day, who for all or even none of the reasons listed, just seemed so worth the effort of pursuit and creeping anxiety, that is the person that makes the fight a fight worth struggling to persist and tell. I want that fight and I want the person to fight not just with me but for me and for what he wants.
Hmm, I’m such a hopeless romantic it feels pathetic at times, but this is who I am and I like myself enough to be able to live with it.