I feel like everyone has a set of standards that they develop overtime through observing and interacting with people in their lives. They learn what they like and what they don’t like, characteristics that comply with their personalities and characteristics they prefer not to deal with. But are these ideals and preferences we develop applicable to all and different types of relationships we have in our lives?
I think a lot about the type of guy I would like to have as my boyfriend and my future husband, but I feel like I can’t create a whole person that I can perfectly be comfortable with. I guess it’s a good thing, not to be able to envision that perfect guy because it doesn’t exist. I think we learn to adapt to people and adjust our own preferences. Nothing is set in stone and we are constantly changing our preferences, desires, hopes, and consequently standards.
The desire to find someone who can accommodate my needs and play that special and probably most significant role in my life keeps looming over my thoughts and all the conversations I have with friends. I’m starting to feel that my hesitance to put myself out there and give time for these types of interactions is starting to make me less human and more of a misanthrope. I want someone, it’s not that I don’t. I just don’t want to have to put so much effort into it right now. I don’t want to work for it. My laziness is a sickness and rusting my life. I just wish it were easier and someone would come in and pick it up quickly for me and force me out of the cage I have securely locked and not sure where I’ve left the keys.
I guess these are constant thoughts and desires any human have. The need for a social interaction. The need and desire of having someone you can rely and have as yours.
Late bloomer, hopeless romantic, picky person, and lazy daisy. Flowing in the wind and hoping I can eventually fall into the right place to bloom.