Hesitantly flattered and quickly insulted.

I’ve never been good at compliments, giving them or receiving them. I’m finding myself better at giving compliments and expressing different praises through working with children though, but I still have difficulty and feelings of awkwardness when I am on the receiving end. I never notice people’s reactions, but I guess most people will thank you for the compliment, feel good and move on. Compliments help develop a relationship.

People have pointed out to me that I’m not good at accepting compliments. My coworker would tell me to just thank him instead of saying something that totally disregards or opposes the compliment. My friend told new friends that I’m not good at it either and they made a point to see my reaction by giving me a direct compliment and made sure everyone heard. I retreated when I heard it and became awkward. I’m not so sure why this is my reaction. Maybe it’s because I don’t believe it when people say nice things. It’s part of my skepticism and my general attitude. I only give out compliments when I genuinely mean them, so when I receive it from others, I hesitate to believe its honesty because it feels like they give it out so easily.

Compliments aren’t as abundant as criticisms are when I was growing up and even now among my group of friends. They are becoming increased as a meet new strangers and in different social interactions. However, this is why I hesitate to accept. People seem to tell me certain things in order to flatter me because they may have ulterior motives. It sounds so sad that I think this way I know, but it’s just difficult for me to believe people will say nice things to me without intentions other than just to simply express a compliment. And this is probably what’s wrong with society. I’m fueling the bad thoughts and distrust because I’m so skeptical. I do want to believe people are just nice. You just can’t tell. It would be too naive for me to think that, that people can be nice without wanting something. But on the other extreme, when people say something mean, it’s so easy for us to jump to the conclusion that they are a mean person. We don’t hesitate to take on the criticism. It seems like we almost believe the criticism without questioning why a person is saying it. Why isn’t it the same when someone says something nice?

Maybe it does have something to do with my self-confidence. I’m quick to get upset when someone says something offensive, but I’m slow to react if someone says something flattering. If I can switch the way I deal with insults and compliments, then I’d be such a happy camper all the time and at peace. I’ll work on it one at a time. For now, I think I’ll start with the compliments and accepting them with more ease. I got to believe people are saying nice things from somewhere and somewhere they found from me. It’ll also boost my self-confidence, which is what I need. I mean, I do feel the flattery and feel good about the nice things people say about me, but I always have to reason it for myself, which makes no sense because how can I reason someone else’s perception?

Compliment more, accept undoubtedly, and appreciate honestly.


About Lynn Vo

I am just another mind with a laptop and fingers that type out the thoughts that invade my brain. I like to share these thoughts because it's extremely selfish of me to keep these thoughts open to only one person who has access to it. Share your thoughts with me and I'll keep them safe.
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